1 00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,738 [Kate humming] 2 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:10,142 Honey? Is something wrong? 3 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,244 I just got a chill, as though something terrible 4 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,413 is about to happen. 5 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:17,316 It has to do with him. I know it. 6 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:21,653 These premonitions are becoming more frequent, aren't they? 7 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:25,157 Willie, Kate, I have some disturbing news. 8 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:29,561 - I told you. Didn't I tell you? - That's just a coincidence. 9 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,997 What disturbing news? 10 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,600 I am deeply concerned.. 11 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:39,004 ...about the amount of weight I've put on recently. 12 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,006 Oh, is that all? 13 00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:44,009 Well, you might find it cute and adorable 14 00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:47,479 but I'm afraid that genetically, I'm destined to die 15 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:50,783 from the same fate my grandparents died from. 16 00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:55,487 - And that is? - Physical implosion. 17 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,991 So far, this has all been good news. 18 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:01,026 I'll let that pass. 19 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:03,095 You see, when Melmacians gain weight 20 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:06,131 our bodies become denser and denser 21 00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:10,035 until finally, we just burst from inside. 22 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:14,039 You're saying that you only gain weight internally? 23 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,608 Yeah. It's a primitive survival thing 24 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:20,379 to ensure our clothes always fit. 25 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:24,783 Nature does have a way of taking care of the important things. 26 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:28,320 That is the most ludicrous thing you have ever said. 27 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,356 Well you wouldn't find humor in it if you had to wet vac 28 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,792 your grandparents off the carpet. 29 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:38,530 [theme music] 30 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:46,165 (woman on TV) 'and one and two and one and two and breathe.' 31 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:49,234 'Okay, once again, inhale.' 32 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,770 'And exhale.' 33 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,908 'Ready?' 34 00:02:55,910 --> 00:03:00,879 'And up and back and up and back.' 35 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:04,249 - What are you doing? - Exercising. 36 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:07,553 This is the sixth time I've watched this tape today. 37 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:11,223 I can't wait to weigh myself. 38 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,125 ALF, that's crazy. 39 00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:17,095 You can't lose weight just by watching a workout tape. 40 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,797 Come on. Get up. 41 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,300 I'll show you a couple of exercises. 42 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:27,239 Okay, but I feel it only fair to warn you I just ate. 43 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:30,042 [grunting] 44 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:33,245 - I ate a lot. - I'll give you a hand. 45 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,652 Let me, let me get my feet in a better position here. 46 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,355 Uh, use your legs, Willie. Bend from the knees. 47 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:46,558 [grunting] 48 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,664 What's going on out here? 49 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,866 It's not what you think. 50 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,135 I'm trying to get ALF up on his feet. 51 00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,204 You know, he is heavier than he looks. 52 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:03,775 Yes, but I'm still a perfect size seven. 53 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:08,880 Whoa! This is not embarrassing at all. 54 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,183 ALF, if you're really serious about losing weight 55 00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:13,585 you're gonna have to start exercising regularly 56 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,821 and eating less. 57 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:19,358 How about if I just gave up eating your cooking? 58 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:23,962 Oh, forget it. If he wants to pork out, let him burst. 59 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,699 - He doesn't care. - I do. Oh, I'm just weak. 60 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,402 I have no willpower, Will. 61 00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,604 I'm too young to implode. 62 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,273 All I need is a little help. 63 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:37,676 Would you help me? Please help me. 64 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,745 Alright. You heard him. 65 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:43,815 Starting immediately, you're going on a supervised diet. 66 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:48,553 You're gonna be limited to 1500 calories a day. 67 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,722 No problem. 68 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,824 Now, just out of curiosity 69 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,627 how many calories are there in a double cheeseburger 70 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,263 large fries and chocolate shake? 71 00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:01,466 Eleven, what, twelve? 72 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,069 I'd say probably 2100. 73 00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:07,205 [gasps] 74 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,541 I'm in big trouble. 75 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,410 I'll diet tomorrow. 76 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:21,653 - Roast smells good, mom. - Great. Here you go, ALF. 77 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,589 - What's this? - Supper. 78 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,692 It's a joke, right? 79 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:30,062 It's a watercress salad. It's on your diet. 80 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,932 Well, let's just take it off. 81 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:38,337 Try it. I know it's tough, but nobody wants to see you implode. 82 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:41,973 Well, practically nobody. 83 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,875 Where's the dressing? 84 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,011 I squeezed lemon juice on it for you. 85 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,813 Oh, for a minute there, I was worried 86 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:51,483 it might be dry and tasteless. 87 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,152 When you finish that you can have some nice white rice 88 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,122 and skinless broiled chicken. 89 00:05:57,124 --> 00:06:02,894 Oh, great. And maybe for dessert I can have a ball of wax. 90 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:09,234 Brian, ass-pe the eat-me and otatoes-pe. 91 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:14,906 Dad, you speak French. What did he say? 92 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,110 He said he wants seconds on his salad. 93 00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:20,245 Look, I'm grateful for the help 94 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,982 but Melmacians can't crash diet like this. 95 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,651 Sure they can. All it takes is willpower. 96 00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,954 That's not what I mean. 97 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:32,691 We have to lose weight very, very slowly 98 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,526 over a period of time. 99 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:37,229 Say, 13 years. 100 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,633 - Nice try. - It's true. 101 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,902 Crash dieting can cause an imbalance 102 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,037 in my enzyme system. 103 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,273 I could be subject to a chemical reaction 104 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:53,111 that might make me revert back to my primal instincts. 105 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,815 Oh, for heaven's sake, don't eat the damn salad. 106 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,217 I'm serious. 107 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:02,154 ALF, you pleaded with us to help you lose weight. 108 00:07:02,156 --> 00:07:04,489 Now, if you think I can be conned 109 00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,924 into letting you off the hook 110 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,226 because of some ridiculous story like that 111 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:11,963 well, I'm a bigger fool than you are. 112 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,333 Well, in that case, pass the gravy, fool. 113 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,940 Okay, but I'm telling you 114 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,143 it's gonna get weird. 115 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,418 [mumbling] 116 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,954 Ooh. Ah. 117 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,522 Bacon grease. 118 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,758 [sniffs] 119 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,893 Soup's on. 120 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,895 Oh! Uh.. Uh.. 121 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,097 [snoring] 122 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,869 Don't wake the sleepwalker. 123 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,938 Very dangerous. 124 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,840 Very dangerous. 125 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,410 You should be ashamed. 126 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:03,315 Don't yell at the sleepwalker. 127 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,983 Very humiliating. 128 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,786 Very humiliating. 129 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:11,990 ALF, is that a cockroach on your shoulder? 130 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,126 Aah! Where? Where? Get it off! Get it off! 131 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,499 I mean where am I? 132 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:27,305 Who am I? It's, it's all so confusing. 133 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,074 Well, goodnight. 134 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:34,579 Ah! Feet back, spread them. 135 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,181 Hey, hey, am I the only one here 136 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,450 with a salami in his trench coat? 137 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,321 This has been going on for, for days. 138 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,925 We're doing this for your, for your own good. 139 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,393 Don't you remember? 140 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:52,163 Don't you remember how you begged us to help you? 141 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,132 Willie, I'm not kidding. 142 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,968 I need food. Real food. 143 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,070 I can feel my primitive instincts 144 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,172 starting to kick in. 145 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,975 [howls] 146 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,511 Who said that? 147 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:11,816 Why do you insist on making an opera out of everything? 148 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,786 Part of my boyish charm, I suppose. 149 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,755 [growls] 150 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,457 So where was I? 151 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,193 You were saying something about your boyish charm 152 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,329 then you "grrr'd" at Willie. 153 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,097 [gasps] 154 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:29,434 Oh, no. I "grrr'd?" 155 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,002 It's happening already. 156 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:34,139 Once it starts, I'm afraid I'll have to hunt 157 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:38,543 and kill fresh meat to replace my enzymes. 158 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,913 - Goodnight, ALF. - Happy hunting. 159 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,783 Fine. Don't believe me. 160 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,152 I'm going to need a loincloth. 161 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,794 Hurry up, Bri, you're gonna be late for school. 162 00:09:55,796 --> 00:10:00,865 Melon and rice cake, 120 calories. 163 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,734 We're not all eating that, are we? 164 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:06,504 To answer your question, Bri, no, it's just for ALF. 165 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,540 Is he handling his diet any better? 166 00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,809 Better? No, I wouldn't say better. 167 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,045 You should have seen the stunt he tried to pull last night. 168 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,848 Poor guy, this really isn't very easy for him. 169 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,951 Yesterday I caught him licking all the empty trashcans 170 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:24,456 and he offered me $5 not to tell any.. 171 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,124 Oops. 172 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,327 [ALF yelling] 173 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,102 [ALF yelling] 174 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,172 ALF! You know better than to yell outside 175 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,474 in the yard like that. 176 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:47,312 Whoa. Who you call ALF, pale skin? Me Wolf. 177 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:51,082 Primitive Melmacian hunting machine. 178 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,485 Pretty butch, huh? 179 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,487 [howls] 180 00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,625 There's another thing you're not good at. 181 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:05,163 Oh. Guess Wolf need to get knack of hunting thing. 182 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,565 But got the look down. Yes? 183 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:12,303 Dad, why is ALF acting this way? 184 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:16,041 [chuckles] It's an elaborate and annoying ploy 185 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:18,443 to get us to let him off his diet. 186 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:21,246 It seems to work on both levels. 187 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,914 We're supposed to think that ALF-- 188 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,349 Wolf. 189 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,685 Name Bambi already taken. 190 00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:30,722 Wolf no match for Disney legal department. 191 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:34,192 Look, Wolf, knock it off! 192 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,562 He wants us to believe 193 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,765 that business about his enzymes becoming unbalanced 194 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:44,436 and that causing his primal instincts to kick in. 195 00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:45,904 Silence! 196 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,773 Wolf hear squirrel in distance. 197 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,443 Brian, start hibachi. 198 00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:56,781 Here to good friend Tonight kind of special 199 00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,416 - ALF-- - Wolf. 200 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,751 Wolf. 201 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:03,021 Come on in the house, you've made your point. 202 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:07,058 No good, Wolf must trap and hunt own food 203 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:11,329 before get too weak and become food. 204 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,099 Well, I don't really have time for this. 205 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,367 Thankfully, I have to go to work. 206 00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,670 You're not leaving me alone with Wolf, are you? 207 00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:22,807 No, no, let me call the office and say I won't be in today 208 00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:26,377 because my alien's diet has made him a warrior hunter. 209 00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,646 Silence, suburban ones. 210 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:32,150 You scare prey from hunting ground. 211 00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,687 See if you can get him to eat something. 212 00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:37,455 I'll try to get home early. 213 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,090 I'll stay home with you, Mom. 214 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,925 Take your time. 215 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,128 [growling] 216 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,437 Any new developments since I called? 217 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,439 Nothing. He slept most of the day. 218 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,642 And refused to eat anything he didn't hunt down himself. 219 00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:00,311 We even tried attaching a string to a Pop-Tart 220 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,646 pulling it across the lawn 221 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:04,215 hoping he'd pounce on it and kill it. 222 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,717 Pretty pathetic. 223 00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:09,020 So he hasn't eaten anything for two days. 224 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,922 His only catch was a garden snail. 225 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,959 He let it go because he didn't have any garlic and butter. 226 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:19,264 Wolf said he might be primitive, but he isn't a barbarian. 227 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,199 Honey, I'm frightened. 228 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,168 Yeah. Every time we go into the backyard 229 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,969 he throws a stick at us. 230 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,138 What are we gonna do? 231 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,240 Why do you automatically assume 232 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:32,477 that I have the answers for these questions? 233 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,813 Should have read those Smithsonian magazines 234 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,648 you got me for Christmas. 235 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,419 [ALF howls] 236 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,154 [tires screeches] 237 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,558 Oh, my Lord! Wolf just drove off with our car. 238 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,742 It's over. He could be anywhere now. 239 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:08,313 He could be half way to Las Vegas by now. 240 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,014 Shouldn't we keep looking for him? 241 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:13,585 Oh, honey, we've been all up and down this neighborhood. 242 00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:15,620 Well, still, we can't just give up. 243 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,689 I don't know what else we can do. 244 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,758 We can't very well scour the entire city. 245 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,694 And we can't very well call the police 246 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,462 and tell them there's a three-foot alien 247 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:28,566 driving around in an '82 Ford looking for fresh meat. 248 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,735 Still, he's driving without a license 249 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:34,038 and I don't think our insurance will cover us. 250 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,241 [phone rings] 251 00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,445 Hello? 252 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,280 Yes, this is Willie Tanner. 253 00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,784 Is there a problem, officer? 254 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:47,952 Yes, that's our car. 255 00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:50,722 Did you happen to find anything unusual in it? 256 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:56,461 I-I think you'd know what I mean. 257 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,232 How it got there? 258 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,501 Why, is there something wrong 259 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,637 with the way my wife parked my car? 260 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,608 Well, you know women drivers. Oh, sorry, ma'am. 261 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,345 Thank you, we'll take care of it. 262 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,781 Yes, we will. 263 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:19,584 Oh, yes. 264 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,152 Goodbye. 265 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:25,089 - Was there any sign of ALF? - No. 266 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,926 It seems Wolf is running around loose 267 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:30,061 somewhere in Griffith Park. 268 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,596 Griffith Park? 269 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,299 Honey, that park can be very dangerous at this hour. 270 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:38,403 Yeah, yeah, you're right. 271 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,505 I think I'll wait till morning. 272 00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:43,308 No, I mean dangerous to ALF. 273 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:46,010 Oh. Of course you did. 274 00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:50,415 How silly of me to think of myself just this once. 275 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,016 Honey, do you want me to go with you? 276 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:55,253 No, no, no. It's my own personal hell. 277 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,755 I might as well enjoy it. 278 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,290 Ah. 279 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,435 ALF? 280 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,371 Wolf? 281 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,846 ALF. 282 00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:23,381 - Ah! - Ah! 283 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,987 Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone like that? 284 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,322 What if I had a guest over? 285 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,524 Excuse me, I wasn't expecting anyone. 286 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,927 - Hey, I live here. - I'm sorry. 287 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:41,532 - Got a cigarette? - No, I'm afraid I don't smoke. 288 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,703 Good for you. Smoking's bad. 289 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:49,007 Wish I could give them up, but I'm under a lot of pressure. 290 00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:54,379 Say, uh, you haven't seen anything strange 291 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,247 or odd around here lately, have you? 292 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,384 Lately? Hm. 293 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,586 Someone did throw a stick at me earlier. 294 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,522 I think it was that little guy from Fantasy Island. 295 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,525 What a way to end up. 296 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,261 He must be very bitter. 297 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:13,131 You didn't see which way he went, did you? 298 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,665 Hey, it's not my business. 299 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,734 I try not to get involved. 300 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,105 Hey, so, what's your story? 301 00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:23,141 When did life turn against you? 302 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,143 [chuckles] 303 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,679 Four years ago, September. 304 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:31,449 Listen, I, uh, I really have to go. 305 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,084 Oh, sure. Sure. 306 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:36,621 Hey, if you bump into the little guy, be careful. 307 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:39,023 He's really got a temper. 308 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:41,025 [ALF howling] 309 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:50,001 Ah. Say your prayers, Frenchie. 310 00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,538 [ALF howls] 311 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,275 ALF.. Uh, Wolf. 312 00:17:57,277 --> 00:18:00,144 Oh. Big game. 313 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,246 Wolf have block party tonight. 314 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,115 B-Y-O-B. 315 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:09,220 What were you about to do to this little toy poodle? 316 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:12,657 It no toy. It real. 317 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,560 Oh, ALF, this is just someone's runaway dog. 318 00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,995 Now listen, Wolf, listen to me. 319 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,800 Will you stop that? 320 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:27,138 Wolf too tired to hear whiny man talk. 321 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,841 Must consume food. 322 00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:32,643 Listen, listen, I'm sorry I doubted you. 323 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,679 I want you to come home now. Come home with me. 324 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,614 I'll give you all the food you need. 325 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:40,118 No. Must eat toy dog. 326 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,321 ALF? Wolf? Whatever. 327 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,589 Look at me. 328 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,024 Don't you recognize me? 329 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,227 Ah. Yes. 330 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,096 You Zog, the timid hunter. 331 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:55,867 I told you stay in cave, finish bison mural. 332 00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:57,468 But no. 333 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,005 It's me, Willie. 334 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,107 Don't you remember? 335 00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:06,310 Lynn? Brian? Eric? Kate? 336 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,179 [yells] 337 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:10,314 Name bring fear. 338 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,650 Not know why. 339 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,752 (Willie) Alright. Now. 340 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,855 Look at this, look, look. This is candy. 341 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,056 [growling] 342 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,691 Yes! Candy. Come on. 343 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,126 This could make you better. 344 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,761 This could make you a lot better. 345 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:27,665 Take it. Please. Eat it. Eat. 346 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,735 Eat it for me, for Willie. 347 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:34,272 - Zog. - Zog. 348 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,540 What heck. 349 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,009 Wolf kill better on sugar high. 350 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,077 Use Twinkie defense. 351 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,913 [growling] 352 00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:45,950 No! No! Wait! Wolf? Wolf, where are you going? 353 00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,718 Wolf! Wolf! 354 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,754 (male 'Uh, excuse me.' 355 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:54,292 Look, I know you're new here 356 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,626 but it's not really a good idea 357 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,728 to be yelling "Wolf" after 10 o'clock. 358 00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,765 Some of us have to get up early. 359 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:04,936 I'm sorry. It was very inconsiderate of me. 360 00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:06,671 A hut. 361 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:10,174 Hey, you work fast. 362 00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:14,045 I've been here seven years. Why didn't I think of that? 363 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,614 Oh, it's just something I slapped together. 364 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,050 I see you've got yourself a guard dog, too. 365 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:22,019 A hut and a dog. The American dream. 366 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:25,389 I see things are really coming together for you. 367 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:27,124 Thank you, thank you. 368 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:32,730 Well, oh, boy, I guess I'll turn in now. 369 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,333 Oh, I understand. First night in a new hut. 370 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,134 [chuckles] 371 00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:38,936 Ah, he'll be talking to himself in a week. 372 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,005 Shut up, what do you know? 373 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,611 ALF, come on, come out of there. 374 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,615 Oh, look. Dog. 375 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,416 Stand back. 376 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,352 Why? I just want to pet him. 377 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:58,055 He's such a cute little puppy dog. 378 00:20:58,057 --> 00:20:59,290 You're back. 379 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,459 You're no longer the brave, pathetic 380 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,628 feeble, primitive warrior. 381 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:07,698 Hey, you're no prize. 382 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,402 Wait a minute. Where am I? 383 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:14,772 Ah. You finally did it, didn't you? 384 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,843 You drove me to the woods and dropped me off. 385 00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,845 But why did you dress me like this? 386 00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:23,648 Was it just to humiliate me? Huh? 387 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,650 We'll talk later. 388 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,451 Actually, I kind of like it. 389 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,855 Kate's gonna wanna borrow this outfit, I just know it. 390 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,324 I wish she'd stay out of my closet. 391 00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,026 Would you talk to her? 392 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,830 - Thanks again for finding her. - Oh, no problem. 393 00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,165 We were just glad we were able to return her 394 00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:43,901 before anything life-shattering could happen. 395 00:21:45,238 --> 00:21:47,204 [dog barking] 396 00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:49,940 Don't, don't, don't open the door. 397 00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:55,513 Kate, did you know that bacon grease 398 00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,915 mixed with butterscotch syrup 399 00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:01,018 makes a delightful marinade? 400 00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:04,288 I'll add that to my recipe file. 401 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:08,125 It would be a shame to disturb the cobwebs. 402 00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:11,228 I take it this is the end of the hideous four-day diet? 403 00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:14,832 Absolutely. I've got this eating thing down. 404 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,635 In fact, I'm thinking about writing a diet book. 405 00:22:17,637 --> 00:22:20,204 ALF's Fat for Life Diet. 406 00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:23,874 Could be a big seller in the Bavarian countries. 407 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,443 Nice try, pal 408 00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,111 but most of the weight you lost 409 00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:29,847 in the last two days was water weight. 410 00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,016 Oh, ha-ha. 411 00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:34,752 You know, I should have eaten you when I had the chance. 412 00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:38,322 [grumbles] 413 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:42,860 [theme music] 414 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,424 Ah-ha-ha-ha!